yesterday i went shopping with myself.

turns out i'm getting the green ones.
my optometrist is an obomobitch. he deceived me into trying on different colors with no obligation because i was his "patient" and was therefore special unlike "walk-ins" who deserve no rights for this privilege. so then after i try them on, this paki guy comes and tries the exact ones i tried on. APPARENTLY, they were demos and that's just gross. i don't even wanna think whose eyes they've been, but never again.

i actually didn't have any difficulty whatsoever skipping sushi after this, which i originally planned over and over in my head i will have on this particular day. i just really felt like i was just gonna shit out $10 bucks + tip from my ass y'know...

so then i had a nice 90k stroll back and forth along yonge street in search of my cordless phone, cd clock radio and tweezerman tweezers. at the end of the day, i actually fully accomplished my mission...-$186.80 later.

salespeople are assholes no matter how much discount you get. there just always has to be a fucking catch, which you conveniently realize when you get home staring at your NO REFUNDS receipt. i believe i know this to be true because i try to sell the feature combo at work all the time for my own selfish reasons as i get commission out of this. i KNOW nobody really wants a refill after eating a ginormous bag of popcorn and an even more ginormous fucking jumbo sized overflow-the-toilet-pop so really i lied about the best value part. unless you really really wanted the weeny sized treat it came with, which you can practically finish in one bite. when people actually come back for a refill, i really feel bad then because i feel they just came back to look me in the eye and telepathically message me, "I WIN." And even though they look like they were about to puke a bucket of corn sludge on me, they bravely gobble their popcorn refill and thank me genuinely. then, a week later i am $50 bucks richer for selling so many feature combos. lol, i guess i'm an asshole, too.

then going home, don't you hate it when you're still an hour and half away from your house and you feel something goopy in your pants and realize it's that time of the month and yay you're in shit now because you didn't bring any pads or tampons with you? sometimes, i seriously wish i was a boy.